Lingam massage is a technique used to relax a man or to help him to recover from a negative sexual experience. It can also be used to build trust between partners and to give the man a very intimate experience where his partner is all giving to him. It can be very pleasurable for the masseuse as well to see how well received their treatment is and how the channel of energy that they are supplying to their partner is bringing him so much pleasure. It can be used as a form of safe sex, because penetration is never used either during or after the massage. It can also be a teaching experience for the man, allowing him to relax and receive which is something that some men do not find easy to do or are not used to doing especially in a sexual context where they are expected to instigate and be the giver in the experience as well as the leader. Although he may give some guidance during the massage, it will not be controlled by him.
Before the massage it is important to try to get in to a relaxed state. Having a bath or shower will help with this process and then breathing deeply, right through the body to eliminate the tensions there. Concentrate on the partner, hug and hold them, look into their eyes and try to concentrate fully on each other to eliminate any distracting thoughts. It will also help to physically relax the body and help to increase the trust that you have for each other.
The receiver should lie on his back with supportive pillows under head, hips and knees. Legs need to be spread apart with knees slightly bent and head should be high enough so he can look in to the eyes of the masseuse. The masseuse should sit between the receivers legs. Start with some deep breathing exercise, both of you taking part in them in order to help to relax you both properly.
Massage oil should be used, warmed up between the hands before applying to the body. Start by massaging the whole of the body apart from the genitalia. This should further help with the relaxation process but also help to build up trust.
Once ready, the testicles can be massaged. These need to be touched very gently as they are extremely sensitive and too much pressure can be painful. Take time to pay attention to the scrotum, public bone and perineum, basically all areas around the lingam apart from the lingam itself. This area is often neglected and so the man may feel a lot of pleasure form touching in this area and so do not rush. Keep going with it for as long as he is enjoying it.
Once you start to massage the lingam the pressure can be increased. There are different ways to massage the shaft. Making sure the shaft is well lubricated squeeze at the base and then use the other hand to slide upwards from the bottom and pull right off, then swap hands. After a while change direction – squeeze and the top and slide the hand downwards. This is something that the man may not have tried before and so may find strange but hopefully pleasurable.
When the masseuse feels that this has been done enough then it is time to massage the head. This needs well lubricated hands and it should be rubbed in the same way that you would use an orange juicer. All of the shaft and head should be well massaged during the session.
It is possible that the man will have the urge to ejaculate during the massage process. This is not the purpose of the massage and if the man wants to learn how to last longer during love making without ejaculating then this could be a good place to practise. If the man is about to ejaculate then stop the massage and wait for him to soften a little before continuing with it. This will allow the man to learn to have better control and eventually could teach him how to separate orgasm and ejaculating as they do not have to occur at the same time. This means that it is possible for him to have multiple orgasms.
After the lingam massage it is time to move on to the g-spot massage. This is the spot between the anus and testicles. By rubbing it gently a peas sized indentation should be felt and this is the area to concentrate on. Gentle push inwards and the pressure will be felt deep inside. It may be painful to start with so let him guide you. By practicing the massage of this area a lot it will help the man to master his ejaculations better and have more intense orgasms. It is possible to massage the lingam with one hand and the g-spot with the other and when he is almost ejaculating push on the g-spot and it will increase his pleasure.
It is also possible to massage the g-spot from the anus and this can cause a more intense orgasm if done correctly. Insert a well lubricated finger gently in the entrance to the anus and gentle enter. Push forwards slowly letting him take you inside as he is ready. Let him guide you as forcing could be painful. The g-spot will feel hard and found and gently rub it using a bent finger. Move slowly backwards and forwards over it and try different speeds and pressures. The lingam can be massaged at the same time.
If the massage has a healing purpose, or even if it does not, it is possible for this part of the massage to be very emotional. Do not try to help or heal but just encourage him to express how he feels and let him allow those emotions to leave the body.
It is at this point that he may choose to ejaculate. If he has held off many times then this will be a very pleasurable experience. Encourage him to breathe deeply as he does so. Once he has finished, whether he chooses to ejaculate or not then remove the hands from his body. He may want to be held closely or need some time alone and the masseuse needs to respect his wishes.